The pull, this undying attraction feels like it will be my demise!
Your failure to acknowledge me is an obvious sign of your failure to face yourself in the mirror.
And I sit here in this agony waiting for a connection with your fire soul which will never happen.
It’s time to wake up from this unfulfillable fantasy. But I resist and fail to read the signs.
The Siren Song with which I am so obsessed lately calls me to wanting you to be my siren. But is this what I truly want? Perhaps a “thank you” is in order now since I just realized the siren call is from me to myself. Somehow you became an illusion which placed a veil over me, a healer and the truth seeker hidden behind your mask.
Now when I was a young Basil you were my work of art – that is not who I am now. As Lord Henry and a true Capricorn I analyze, interpret, imagine. A purge is not possible, as they rarely are, but I am letting go of your portrait and cleaning my brushes. It’s not moving on, it’s embracing new information. And the heartache, the longing? That is Basil – A 16-year-old Basil to be exact – he is now past the part he needed to play.
So I suppose the pull may be present until the next life but I now with absolute certainty radically accept this. What I will no longer accept (or feed) is shame, intrusiveness, or selfish intent.
So thus far in my journey in the forest of my mind I’ve uncovered a clean and fresh paint brush. Now is the time for me to paint something new and let Basil and Dorian be.